this is my first time posting in months.

my thoughts are a complete mess, as if now is a better time than usual.

I am way more than excited to finally be leaving vb, going to texas, and watching him graduate. I can’t believe it’s been 8.5 weeks already. The time went by fast and slow at the same time. I guess the only things that kept me sane were my friends who were there for me when i needed to keep my mind occupied, and my letters that i got each week. Of course with the exception of the first 2 weeks when i was going completely crazy. But, i digress. I’ve woken up at around the times of 6am-8am since he’s been gone. and for lack of better terms, IT SUCKS. As hard as i try to fall back asleep, it never returns. Work has done a good job of keeping me busy so that my time goes by faster. Not much else to say on that matter though. My thoughts are all a mess right now, I don’t know where i began and where to end. I hope we get alone time together, I’m going to have to use all my strength not to jump him.(lol) I miss the touch of his skin on mine, and I wish i coud kiss him when i see him but i’ll have to wait til we’re alone. I want to get another room just so we can have one to ourselves but I probably shouldn’t. I got my last phone call on saturday while I was at work, and he told me has something to tell me but i have to wait til I get there to find out. Who does that?! -________- it is honestly unfair to do that to me. My mind is racing, my heart honestly feels like it’s going to burst.I absolutely have no clue what it could be about. He started talking about the places he could get stationed, and it’s all overseas places, and it was making me sad cause from now on, we’re just going to continue to be apart. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I knew what i was getting myself into when we agreed to stay together, but this is a whole lot harder than i anticipated. But, I am more than willing to make this sacrifice, since he’s making an even bigger sacrifice to join our military. It should go without saying, but I am truly and honestly very proud of him.  I only ever want the best for him. It’s nice to finally know what each of us are doing for the rest of our lives. I can only hope at this point that we continue to move forward, together.