my thoughts are a complete mess, as if now is a better time than usual.
I am way more than excited to finally be leaving vb, going to texas, and watching him graduate. I can’t believe it’s been 8.5 weeks already. The time went by fast and slow at the same time. I guess the only things that kept me sane were my friends who were there for me when i needed to keep my mind occupied, and my letters that i got each week. Of course with the exception of the first 2 weeks when i was going completely crazy. But, i digress. I’ve woken up at around the times of 6am-8am since he’s been gone. and for lack of better terms, IT SUCKS. As hard as i try to fall back asleep, it never returns. Work has done a good job of keeping me busy so that my time goes by faster. Not much else to say on that matter though. My thoughts are all a mess right now, I don’t know where i began and where to end. I hope we get alone time together, I’m going to have to use all my strength not to jump him.(lol) I miss the touch of his skin on mine, and I wish i coud kiss him when i see him but i’ll have to wait til we’re alone. I want to get another room just so we can have one to ourselves but I probably shouldn’t. I got my last phone call on saturday while I was at work, and he told me has something to tell me but i have to wait til I get there to find out. Who does that?! -________- it is honestly unfair to do that to me. My mind is racing, my heart honestly feels like it’s going to burst.I absolutely have no clue what it could be about. He started talking about the places he could get stationed, and it’s all overseas places, and it was making me sad cause from now on, we’re just going to continue to be apart. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I knew what i was getting myself into when we agreed to stay together, but this is a whole lot harder than i anticipated. But, I am more than willing to make this sacrifice, since he’s making an even bigger sacrifice to join our military. It should go without saying, but I am truly and honestly very proud of him. I only ever want the best for him. It’s nice to finally know what each of us are doing for the rest of our lives. I can only hope at this point that we continue to move forward, together.
Why do people lie to themselves? I mean, who are you(as in me/you, myself/yourself) kidding? No one knows us better than we know ourselves. Why lie to ourselves about what we want,or need, like or dislike? Why lie about our true feelings?
I’ve learned young that people aren’t bound by any means of obligation to stay in your life, it’s a matter of choice, and their choice to remain as a part of your life is subject to change at any given time, and when or if it does, there’s ultimately nothing in your power you can do to prevent…
this just about sums up everything i’m feeling right now. thank you.
this year I experienced many amazing things. I traveled to many places this year as well.
Washington D.C (a couple times)
Beaufort, SC ( also a few times)
West Palm Beach, Florida
Ft. Lauderdale, Forida
Grand Bahama Island, Bahamas
every place I loved, especially Georgia.Traveling is an amazing experience, I would most definitely recommend it to everyone. I also started an internship at a wedding/event planning company. Everything I did with the company just made me want to do it as a career even more. This year, I learned to not give up what your dream is just because it may not be the easiest job market.
"If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life."
so here’s to you! have a safe and happy new years.
i would love to plan weddings and other events as a career!!! did you go to school for it if so what school and what was the major called ?!?! :)))
1.why are you anonymous?
2. i don’t bite
3. I went to school online, but mainly i took the initiative to call all the local and well known companies in my area to ask them to allow me to be an intern. I got lucky and got accepted. So far, it’s been completely amazing. I absolutely love it. it’s hard work, and it’s really stressful at time but the end result is def worth it.
4. next time, don’t be anonymous! i promise i’m friendly!
Your career won’t wake up in the morning and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore, unlike a man.
i’ve told this to myself a thousand times before, yet I seem to never get it stuck in my mind. I told myself that this time would be different. That i wouldn’t give up any opportunities for anyone, especially not a man. But of course, here I am. Why didn’t i leave when i had the chance? Why did i put myself through a years worths of a job that i absolutely loathe? Of course, it’s no one’s fault but my own. I should have been able to stick to the promise that I made myself. i just thought..well,I just thought that you would be worth staying for. And now i see, that maybe I was wrong. Maybe i should have been selfish and gone, but I wanted things to workout between us. I wanted there to be an US. I didn’t want to just up and leave when we just started. I was already starting to feel things for you that i had never felt before…This, I repeat, is of course my fault (no sarcasm) it was and still is my ultimate decision.
things just always seem to fluctuate, and i just don’t know where I stand.
a friend once told me “you seem to always put him before yourself, why don’t you be more selfish? it’s okay to be selfish when it comes to you and your future..cause you don’t know if he will even be in it”
I don’t like wearing anything but panties to bed, but when I do wear a shirt I end up pulling it up above my boobs. I like having them free. At this very moment they’re freely hanging out. (which feel amazing by the way after having them restricted in a bra the whole day) also, my boyfriend is sleeping and I still get managed to get man handled. It’s like his hands always find a way to my breasts no matter what position I’m laying in. Oh well. Haha I guess that just let’s me know just how much he loves them.
I always found that I was good at a lot of things, and just a few years ago I found something I was great at. I love event planning/designing.Sure, it can get stressful at times but the end result is completely worth it. The feeling of accomplishment, and knowing that did it all by yourself can’t compare to much else. Don’t ever settle for less than what you absolutely love to do.
A man who isn’t afraid of commitment, a man who isn’t afraid of showing a little compassion for me. A man who loves me exactly how I am, with flaws and all, and who will continue to love me over time with the little changes that happen with myself. A man who i can change and grow WITH, not apart. A man who is supportive, and encouraging. A man who can bring out the best in me, and I for him. A man who will comfortable with reassuring me every now and then. A man who isn’t scared of having a possible future with me. A man who isn’t scared, period. A man who knows what he wants. A man who knows that if he loses me, then he’ll lose one of the best people to have come across his path. A MAN
I’m in need of some inspiration,or maybe i just need a little collaboration. Whether it’s with another person, or my old self with my new self.Two different hearts, two different minds, two different souls has it’s advantages. The wonders that could happen, the things that could be produced. It comes from the heart, and flows through the fingertips onto the canvas. The canvas could be a board, or a street, even the air around us. The two of us together would make magic. Magic in every sense.Physical, emotional, mental. The rhythm of life would be our song while we groove to the newfound “magic.” You see though, i’m tryna picture this is my head. what i want, what i need from this. i forgot what it feels like to have instant inspiration. i need a muse. i need something to spark up the flame that’s burning out. that’s why i’m in need for an inspiration collaboration.